Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Top 5 Meanest Songs

1. Randy Neuman- Short People
Essentially, short people should die because their genetic line is one of “little hands, little eyes” that “walk around with their pathetic size….Short people got no reason to live”. Okay, picking on short people is a water only the meanest of the mean dare to tread. And it usually takes place in the deep end. Neuman, I would bow in the awe of your disgusting display of disaffection (I love alliteration!) but I think instead I’ll stand so that I can reach your dick and rip off that old, disgusting ball-sack of yours.
2. . Big L – “All Black”
Another rapping song about killing – sigh - This one paints an all too realistic relishing of not just killing a man, but forcing the family to look upon his coffin while wearing…all black. It explains at length the kind of satisfaction one can only get while watching the broken mother of the man you killed weeping openly over her fallen son. God willing, the son’s ghost is also watching on Earth, convinced he is in hell.
3. MIA- Paper Planes
‘All I wanna’ do’ is not be victim to your best efforts of shooting me, opening my register and taking my money. Even if it’s all you wanna’ do. I don’t care. No. No! I’m not going to let this happen, miss. You and your hard friends need to get out of here now. I work really hard to make this Bodega work and I find it really disturbing that this urge to kill and rob drives you the way it does.
4. Sara Bereilles – I’m Not Gonnna’ Write You A Love Song
Okay, Sara Bereilles is a bitch. I ask for one love song and not only does she say no, but she goes out of her way to write a song about how she won’t write a love song for me. That really hurt. I wasn’t being desperate about it or pathetic in any way, I just thought she would say yes and it could be like, our song. Just a nice little thing or whatever. Broke my heart…and now she’s all famous. It’s so weird.
5. Body Count- Cop Killer
I think I get it but... really? Come on Ice T. This isn't what you want.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Gregg Gill-is a boner?

I don't agree with this article per-say (per-sey?), but it's really well written and I like it.


Trash Talkin' the way this Girl Talks

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Top 20 fake bands

1. Wyld Stallyns
2. Hep Alien
3. Sonic Death Monkey
4. Scrambled Debutante
5. The Beets
6. Scab
7. CB4
8. LoveBurger
9. Marc
10. The Lone Rangers
11. Crucial Taunt
12. Bacon Facial
13. The Shitty Beatles
14. Dethklok
15. Flypaper
16. Darwin Lied
17. Chemical Toilet
18. Scrantonicity
19. Mystery
20. Rex Manning